Tell her she can't have a vagina
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
