I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
