So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
