I cockslap morals
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
