Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
