Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
