I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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