What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
