she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
3pm strippers are depressing
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
