Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
