Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
