Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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