You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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