i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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