Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
