I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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