I got chris browned last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
