haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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