you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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