Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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