Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize