If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize