FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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