If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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