Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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