I skipped work to stalk him.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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