I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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