Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

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(510): I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edrh

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.

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(317): I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare. http://tfl.nu/t1bj

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(303): View more from Colorado

she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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(303): she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone http://tfl.nu/1ml1

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(305): View more from Florida

quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

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(305): quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you http://tfl.nu/hg35

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(416): View more from Toronto

"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.

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(416): "Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general. http://tfl.nu/5855

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...

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(405): please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin... http://tfl.nu/m01o

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(941): View more from Florida

He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.

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(941): He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward. http://tfl.nu/8plk

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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(814): BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team. http://tfl.nu/tfzh

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(778): View more from British Columbia

the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic

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(778): the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic http://tfl.nu/wmnz

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(443): View more from Maryland

I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.

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(443): I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon. http://tfl.nu/atl9

Replies (10) Good night (1841) Bad night (368)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

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(303): I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?" http://tfl.nu/z8zt

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.

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(814): For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives. http://tfl.nu/zjhm

Replies (1) Good night (1110) Bad night (153)
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(406): View more from Montana

I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one

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(406): I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one http://tfl.nu/6xky

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(561): View more from Florida

You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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(561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11

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(517): View more from Michigan

Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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(517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots

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