That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.