Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.