She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I died a long time ago.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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