Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
