But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
