he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
