I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
