You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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