I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
