i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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