She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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