i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
