what day is it and did you see me today?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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