he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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