Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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