shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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