It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
