True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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