last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
