You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you traded sex for a burrito?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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