i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize