You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Me too!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
