Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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