I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
