And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
