Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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