so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
