It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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