Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
