saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize