like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
