your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
