Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
