You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
