What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't turn off my feet"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize