The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
