So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
