Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize