sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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